You know how they say that when one door closes that another opens? You ever reach a point in your life where you're actually content with every door being exactly where they are?
That's where I'm at right now...and it's kind of scary. I'm really happy in almost every aspect of my life (except financially...but then again, who's EVER happy?!?!) Anyways, I just have this overwhelming feeling that I'm going to wake up and my happy is going to be gone when I have invested all this time and all of my being into getting to this point. Maybe all these open doors will close...or maybe some have yet to be opened. Any advice?!?! A good spell that you have or some type of incantation would be greatly appreciated and practiced if you have them!
Okay so it has been awhile since I blogged about much of anything so here it goes.
Lately I have been doing a lot of self reflecting. The onset of this was brought about because I was getting out of a relationship. It sucked and it was hard for a while, but things are okay now. And I will say that this was my first relationship since I have been on my new spiritual path. That being said, it was hands down the easiest and most mature breakup I have ever had. Spiritually and emotionally we had just grown apart. We just wanted different things.
Now as anyone who has had a "broken heart" knows, and I know I can speak for most women for sure on this, you do a few things to help yourself get over it. 1. You tone up...everyone needs a "breakup body." 2. You reflect on the past (insert length of relationship here) and you figure out where you went wrong and where they went wrong. 3. You eat a lot of chocolate and cry (which doesn't aid in break up body BTW). 4. You get over it
Let's talk about getting over it. It wasn't easy. And I was becoming the most cynical person on the face of the planet. I dove into my job head on and took on some more responsibilities so mentally I was preoccupied. And I of course, hated all things masculine. I even went to a wedding and at the reception I looked to my friend, Moose who was saying how nice it was to see a young couple have a fairy tale wedding with a happy ending...to which I replied "Happy endings are just stories that are not finished yet." In short, I was becoming a cynical workaholic. And I needed to get back to Square 1 with Kate.
So That's what I did.
I spent a lot of nights at the beach looking at the moon and asking for the courage to find a new partner sometime before I become the scary cat lady on the block that no one will come trick-or-treating to. And then I stopped looking. And that's when it happened. And the funny thing is, he was there all along, I just wasn't listening to the signs the Goddess was sending me.
Let me first start by saying that I was raised a Catholic and in the last few years (especially the last few months) I have felt a calling to Wicca. I bought a lot of books and I read a lot. I am just starting to practice and I feel closer to the dieties then I have ina long time. I am really new at this so forgive me if I sound naieve (I am!) about a lot of things...or if I ask a lot of silly questions. I am just starting on my path and I am looking for safe, open minded people that I can share my journey with.
I guess I "defined" myself as a non-specific pagan simply because I am not yet far enough on my spiritual journey to call myself a Wiccan.
At any rate, I look forward to talking with a lot of you and please, if you have any positive feedback, I am all ears! Also, if there is anything I can do to help someone just starting their journey, please feel free to talk to me...from what people tell me, I have 2 ears and 1 mouth...and I tend to use them in the proportion.
